In some ways I think the break has helped me get settled, psyche-wise. I feel less of a pressure to be something I'm not, to try to not lie but also say the truth in a way that it will be accepted... and to admit defeat when I'm too prideful to admit wrong.
It's not even something I can see, since it's not like I'm behaving any better than before. The only clue I have is that I can talk and smile better now, which is not so significant a task to some, but easily missed by me.
My head is in terrible shape, though. Both me and my mom are fairly sick, and somehow my sinuses are doing so bad that not only in the frontal thinking area, but even my normal thinking (to me, 'middle' and 'back') has gone down. The only saving grace is inspiration, in which things still occur to me, even though I forget so many things and don't even know why I should do what anymore.
Haven't played any go since the day I watched, although I feel like I could now. Yesterday I felt like I couldn't, although I can't remember why too well. My stomach has been acting up slightly, so I'm trying to be careful with what I'm eating. Haven't been online too, because of my head.
( More meditations. )